It’s coming up on 4 years since I left my corporate banking job.
To be exact, I finished up on 21st December 2011 and that same day I flew back to Ireland to enjoy our first Christmas at home in 7 years. I had set my business (NurturePod, was my old business before I rebranded to Corona Brady a year ago) up nearly a year before then and had started teaching yoga and seeing coaching clients while I was working a full time corporate job.
I’ll never forget the day I handed my resignation in!
For a long time (prior to this) I could feel a disease manifesting inside of me.
I sensed something big would be around the corner for me (health wise) if I didn’t follow my heart’s calling.
At that stage I was sick. I was riddled in anxiety. I was adrenally exhausted. I realised I was no longer made out for the corporate working life. 12 years of climbing the corporate ladder, across multiple continents, could not have taken me further away from my soul.
The result? I got physically sick. I was diagnosed with severe adrenal exhaustion. My endocrine system completely shut down, resulting in liver damage, constant fatigue, as well as menstrual, hormonal, and blood sugar issues. Add polycystic ovarian syndrome and insulin resistance to the mix and I was left with two choices: medicate and soldier on OR reassess my life.
I’ve never shared this with anyone yet, what I’m going to share with you today (well apart from my husband).
To be honest, I couldn’t make any understanding of what was happening at the time for me.
Back in November 2011, I attended a yoga retreat in Govinda Valley. There was a wonderful Vedic Astrologer at the retreat offering complimentary 20 mins Vedic Astrology sessions.
These were the exact words he shared with me with during the session:
“Spiritually you will be going through a period of major consequence right now which will also be affecting other areas of your life – such as career – but that is definitely due to the specific karmic influences affecting your life at present. Spend as much time alone as possible. Keep quiet. Think, chant, meditate. It is only for a time, and that time will pass.”
He shared how in all his years of doing charts, he had never seen such a complicated chart (such as mine) and that it was a chart that stood out and that needed some serious explaining.
So upon returning home from the retreat, I decided to reach out and seek a vedic astrology session in person with him. Little did I know that he would become one of my mentor’s for the next 2 years.
I can’t even tell you what unfolded for me after this significant meeting.
My life was honestly turned upside down. I had recently got engaged (to my now husband Dave) and we were due to get married a year later at home in Ireland.
However, this year of 2011 was one of the most challenging year’s of my life; which caused a great deal of turmoil, confusion, anxiety, depression and I felt so lost on every level. It felt like I was crumbling away. So we extended our wedding date out by a year.
Everything broke down for me during this year – relationships fell away, my health was greatly challenged, my relationship with my partner Dave was greatly brought to the test. I often felt very sad (unexplained), lonely, anxious (for no reason), my heart felt like it broke a thousand times and I spent a lot of that year on my own.
My poor partner didn’t understand what was happening. We both couldn’t understand what was happening for or to me.
Change is not something that we should fear. Rather, it is something that we should welcome. For without change, nothing in this world would ever grow or blossom, and no one in this world would ever move forward to become the person they’re meant to be.(B.K.S. Iyengar )
What I was experiencing was a dark night of the soul.
But, honestly it felt like a full year of ‘a dark night of a soul’ and I believe that this was also the beginning of my spiritual awakening.
I can only write about this now (nearly 4 years later) because I’ve walked through the fire and I’ve come out the other side. It all makes perfect sense now.
So what do I mean by this term ‘a dark night of the soul’?
A dark night of the soul is when you reach crisis point in your life. You see your life having a deep sense of meaninglessness.
This inner state can be very close to the feelings of ‘depression’….
Sometimes it’s brought on by a significant event in your life; such as a death or a near death experience. I had a near death experience (but this had been years prior at the age of 21, I was knocked out cold for a 4 mins after a bad fall and slip on a wet floor).
Or it can be brought on by a build up of your life, and the meaning that you have given your life, your activities, your achievements, where you’re going, what’s considered important for you, and that meaning you have given to your life collapses!
Nothing makes sense anymore. There’s no purpose any longer.
What happenes through this phase, is that there’s a death of the egoic sense of self.
It’s a kind of re-birth.
It’s a kind of death that you die.
I’ve realised now that I needed to go through this, in order to bring about my spiritual awakening.
Often during the spiritual awakening process, there’s a death of the old self and a birth of the true self.
And by no means am I boasting and saying that I’ve arrived anywhere yet, I certainly haven’t it. I’m still travelling along on my path!
It can be such an incredibly scary time and I know for myself, it was one of the scariest year’s I’ve experienced to date. Where my entire life was literally turned up side down. A space where nothing no longer made sense for me.
That’s why it can be so scary, because instead of embracing this incredibly transformative period, we resist the heck out of it and it can bring about the dark night of the soul.
I just want to share some tips with you today, if you’re experiencing turmoil right now in your life:
- What helped me a great deal during this time, was working with a mentor and having their guidance. Someone who had been through a similar experience, who had walked through the fire and had come out the other end a stronger person.
- I spent so much time by the water. The water element is so very healing and it helps to purify us. There were many evenings where I sat by the ocean (alone) weaping tears (I couldn’t even understand why I was crying). You don’t need to know why, it’s part of the healing process.
- Journalling very much became a daily practice for me. Actually this is when I really started to use my journalling as a spiritual practice. I carried (and still do to this day) with me in my handbag every where I went and journalled when I needed to, to free my mind of the constant anxious and fearful thoughts.
- I wish I was practicing Kundalini Yoga back then, but unfortunately I wasn’t! However I did find an incredible energy healer who I saw often to assist in my healing and clearing of energy. These sessions were so incredibly powerful. I would literally cry for about a week after each session. No word of a lie!
We’re waking up.
I’m seeing more and more people having sporadic awakenings.
More and more of us are awakening spiritually and are longing for more than what’s available in the material world.
We’re longing for meaning, purpose and depth.
If there’s one piece of advise I could give, if you’re going through this right now, it’s this:
It truly is a magical time, your heart and soul is calling out for a new way, a new life. It mean’s that your soul is ready to see the truth of your life. It’s meant to catlyst you. It prompts you to seek and reflect within. It will open you up to a new understanding, meaning and purpose for your life. Trust that you will get there, because you will!
Plant both feet on the earth (barefoot preferably) and ask mother earth for her support and guidance.
Want some support with your awakening?
You can work with me Energy For Life Academy for women. Click here to book a complimentary Breakthrough Session with me. You can have a read through here how I’ve helped and guided others through transformation.
You can be located anywhere in the world to work with me!
Sending you love and light,
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