When a woman comes into my world she’s usually hungry for something she can’t even explain.
Maybe she’s done everything ‘right’ – like climb the corporate ladder or gotten married and had kids.
Maybe she hasn’t.
Whatever path she’s on, it looks clear enough, but lacks heart.
You can tell your path lacks heart by the emptiness that can’t be filled by trick-laden treats. You can tell you’re starting to awaken when the false flavours and nice-enough distractions no longer satisfy you.
You can tell you’re in the midst of a life awakening when you start to question everything about yourself and your life:
Is this seriously it? Is this all there is?
What’s my passion? What’s my purpose? What am I here to do and offer to the world?
Is this the right relationship? Is he the one?
So today I wanted to share with you seven tools that I’ve personally used in my own life to kick-start my awakening.
1) Get still
To be able to gain clarity (at least some) in the midst of an awakening, we must get still and quiet (on a consistent basis). Firstly we must understand that we are not our mind. We must detach ourselves from the mind and then we’re able to stay in the role of the observer and eyewitness.
So you may ask; how do we detach from our mind?
Detachment suggests a state of mind in which you witness and observe clearly and calmly, with good will, whatever you’re seeing, hearing, thinking, enjoying, or suffering.
You observe and watch your problems, worries, fears, and challenges as if you’re not consumed or preoccupied by them but viewing them calmly — a witness. With lots of practice, your unsettling, unstable turbulent thoughts and negative emotions will lose their grip on your mind. They’ll no longer drive you or distort your inner potential and well-being.
I know I’m probably stating the obvious here, but this step is a super crucial one (and it’s also why I’ve put it right at the top of the list)! If you’re not cleansing your mind daily, you’re going to be carrying a lot of garbage from yesterday and the day before and so!
2) Be gentle and kind
This is a deep transformational process and it requires lashings of self-kindness, gentleness and love. Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to a close friend or loved one. Check in often.
Ask yourself questions like:
How am I feeling right now? What’s going on for me? What do I need? What would support and nourish me right now? What could I do right now to honour these feelings?
I know what you’re thinking, does this positive self-talk really work? Yes, trust me when I say this, it truly does!
3) Journal it out
I have found this to be one of the most potent of spiritual practices. If you’re not normally the writing type, that’s ok. You soon can be! I wasn’t a natural writer but I’ve found it so very nourishing and healing. I find a lot of my answers on paper. A simple enquiry question you can ask yourself on paper is:
What do I need to know right now?
Then get your logical mind out of the way. No censoring, analysing or editing. Simply start writing and see what unfolds onto paper for you.
I know what you’re thinking here, but I don’t have time to write my thoughts on to paper? You have one of two choices here; you can let those thoughts of overwhelm and confusion continue to toss around in your head or you can get them onto paper and release them and also gain some insight around them.
Give yourself permission to play again. Remember those endless days of carefree play as a young child?
What are those things, you use to love to do, as a child?
What do you do, or did you use, to love doing as an adult?
When was the last time you did each of these activities?
What have you always secretly wanted to do, but never thought you could?
5) What are your personal values?
I still remember that day when I was sitting with my coach and she asked me this very question. I was stuck in absolute panic and lost for words. I had no clue. My initial thought was ‘do I really exist?’ We’ve got to start somewhere though right?
The process of unearthing your values can be as alarming as it is illuminating. If you’ve never thought about these, or at least not for many years, uncovering your values can be as confusing as discovering you have a close relative you never knew existed.
I promise you, that if you truly take the time out and make the effort to think about and determine your personal values, your life will be very different (in a great way) to how you’re currently living it!
6) Tap into your desires
A lot of us don’t truly tap into what it is we truly desire. When I say desires here, I don’t mean those desires that are pushed upon us by society, our piers and family.
This exercise requires energy. It’s not a passive exercise! Here today just take these 5mins to work on yourself.
Awareness is the first step and it can be an enormous catalyst for change.
Ask yourself the following questions:
“What is it that I most deeply desire to experience?’
Get specific here. What would it look like for you? How would you be showing up differently? What would you be saying yes to? What would you be saying no to?
“What is it that I most deeply desire to create?”
Maybe you’re saying to yourself, I wouldn’t like to create anything, well if you did, what would that be?
“What small action can you take today to take you closer to that desire?”
Maybe it’s making that phone call, sending that email, signing up to do that course or hiring that coach.
Don’t underestimate the power of this exercise. We all can afford 5 mins to work on ourselves, so don’t let ‘I don’t have time to do this’ be your excuse.
7) Get your support team
I’m all for figuring things out alone and I’m a strong believer that each and every one of us has all the answers we need within. We are our own guru (teacher).
However, I too believe that sometimes when we’ve hit a wall and we’re feeling so damn lost and disconnected that working with a coach/mentor/teacher can be one of the best things we can do to propel forward.
It’s not that the coach/mentor/teacher will tell you what to do (if they’re a good one). They will guide and help you to seek the answers from within. They’ll also hold you accountable for what you said you were going to do.
Want some support in kick starting your awakening?
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Can you relate to the above? Are you in the midst of a life awakening? Share with me in the comments below.
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