If you’re anything like me you’re an achiever, believer, and dreamer. You have BIG BOLD dreams and you believe that you’ve a BIG MISSION to accomplish in this lifetime! This causes you to jump on to the next big project, the next big thing hardly taking a break to breathe. See, this is how I use to work in my business. My business is just over 2 ½ years old and for those first couple of years that’s exactly what I did; I pushed, I strived, I was always busy – I probably worked way too many hours. But, you see when you’re loving your work, it doesn’t feel like work! That was my problem, well that’s how I justified it!
Something had to change this year, I most certainly knew that. When everything started to fall apart and breakdown upon commencing my Kundalini Teacher Training which I’ve wrote about over here, I’ve now come to realise what in fact was happening and why. How come we can never see that when we’re right in the thick of that gloomy murky dark painful place?
Every single one of us, both men and women, have feminine and masculine qualities that express who we are. Our masculine side gets expressed when we’re working towards a goal, getting things done, and pushing forward. Our feminine side is quite the opposite and this gets expressed when we move with the flow and grace of life, we embrace our creative energy, dancing, singing, playing and tapping into our intuition.
Unfortunately in our society, it’s the masculine qualities that tend to be more valued as they are all about progress, achievement and striving forwards. The problem is that when we overvalue this side of us, we spend most of our time working (like what I did pretty much for the past couple of years) and this leaves pretty much no time for play and fun. Everything becomes so serious! We end up depending too much on our iPhone, laptops, iPads etc. which means we have less time to spend in nature and for expressing our creative energy.
This is a new side I’m embracing this year and if I’m honest I’m struggling somewhat and finding it a little strange. It’s because it’s new and I’ve spent so much time in the past attending to my overvalued masculine side.
What is the Divine Feminine?
I see and believe her to be fluid, soft, receptive, intuitive, loving, compassionate, creative, forgiving, healing, wisdom, nurturing and understanding.
She is the matrix of creation. She can create and give birth. She remembers the wholeness within her. She is connected to herself on a very deep soul level.
These are qualities I’m trying to embrace and get in touch with at the moment.
Something I witnessed last week…
I want to share something with you today that I witnessed last week in myself. I share always in hope that it can help you too. It was mid-week and I decided to get myself to the park for some time in nature and a little journalling. Something I’ve been learning this year is to no longer jam-pack my days full of teaching and coaching (like what I’ve done in the past). So it feels a little strange to no longer have massive full days. I’ve also set some boundaries around getting off social media and checking emails late in the evening. I’ll be honest with you here, there were many evenings last year that I’d be sitting in bed still checking and responding to emails while my husband gently reminded me to stop working. Yup, it was that serious!
So anyway back to my story. While I was sitting on the grass journalling, I was suddenly overwhelmed with so much guilt and shame. Oh yes, I kid you not! So instead of running and trying to escape these feelings, I stayed with them and journalled what was happening for me. The guilt and shame was arising because I was feeling so guilty for taking a break. My day already hadn’t been too hectic (which again this is new to me). This was really a wonderful opportunity for me to work through these feelings and clear the energy blocks from my body.
The masculine in me didn’t like what was happening, thoughts kept fleeting through my head like “You should be working right now”, “You don’t deserve a break, your day was hardly busy enough”, “Stop being so lazy, get back to work”, “You really got to get that email sent”etc. I closed my eyes and focused on my breath as well as the sensations in my body. I could feel that my chest and heart area felt tight and constricted. So, I kindly offered myself some loving compassion and repeated to myself silently “Its safe for me to relax”. The more I repeated this to myself along with long slow deep breaths I was able to witness and watch all the shame and guilt dissipate. I left the park that day feeling like a different person!
What to do when guilt arises?
- Tell yourself mentally “Its safe for me to relax” and remind yourself that relaxing is not nothing. When you can relax it allows your mind to unwind, it allows your muscles to soften and let go. It allows space for creativity. It allows you to simply feel your feelings, like what I did above. It allows you to simply notice in that moment what feels right and what doesn’t.
- Grab your journal and start writing out all that junk that’s in your head. You’ll find your answer on paper, the core to what’s creating this guilt. This gives you something to then work with.
- Schedule time for relaxation daily. It may be strange for many of you at first (it did for me),but the more you can do this the less guilt you’ll soon feel. Think of yourself as strengthening this new relaxation muscle.
- Get out in nature, take a different perspective. Walk it out.
- Take some time out to meditate. I’m doing so many Kundalini Meditations daily at the moment and they are so very powerful and effective.
- Don’t run from the truth. Check in, what’s really happening? Don’t stuff those emotions down even more with external things. Pay attention and own your emotions.
I would love to know your thoughts on this. Does guilt arise for you when you do nothing? Share your experiences with me in the comments below.
Love and Light
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