Who struggles dealing with difficult people and situations? I’m sure many of us have and or still do. We all know those people in our lives that seem to know how to push our buttons, are difficult, snappy and can make it very challenging for us to deal with them.
Our first reaction may be to jump to our defence or some of us even shut down, freeze and go purple in the face (I know that’s what I use to do).
Unfortunately some people seem to only be happy when they are unhappy and dragging those around them down. It’s true, I’m certain we all know those people who are consistently angry, negative, offensive, rude and abusive etc.
Something else I feel that’s important to mention here is…..
I also believe that every single relationship we have with someone else exactly mirrors one or more aspects of the relationship we have with ourselves. If we are in a space of self-hatred and negativity, well that’s exactly what we’ll attract in to our lives. I see too many clients who are dis-satisfied in their relationships and really at the core of it is that they are dis-satisfied with their selves. I feel their pain so much because I too was in that place for years. When we start to dive deep into healing that relationship with ourselves everything changes – we start to manifest supportive and loving relationships because we’ve now reached that state within ourselves. If you are ready to heal your relationship with yourself and connect to your soul on a deep level, my Energy For Life Academy may be perfect for you. You can book in for a complimentary initial chat with me here to see if we’re a good fit to work together.
So I ask you, how do you sustain a sense of compassion without getting sucked in to their negative world, when someone next to you is draining you? How do you act in an assertive way that doesn’t increase their negativity?
I believe we can learn how to empower ourselves. Today, I’m going to share some tips with you that have helped me in my own life. Please bear in mind that these are just suggestions and note that all of these suggestions might not apply to your particular situation. I suggest that you use what works for you and then leave the rest.
It can be all too easy to instantly react. I suggest you try a different protocol (if this is your norm). So instead of jumping and reacting, see if you can take a few deep breaths as you slowly count to ten. You will probably find that by the time you’ve reached ten that you’ve already figured out what to do next. If that’s not the case, you can remove yourself from that environment and situation and revisit the situation once you’ve calmed down and figured out how to communicate appropriately.
Protect yourself and your energy
This is something I do a lot. The solar plexus (third chakra which is midway between the navel and sternum) is the true center of our emotions. Ever feel that knot in your gut or a sickness right in the pit of your stomach – that’s your solar plexus trying to communicate with you. I know this feeling only too well; I suffered with a lot of problems in this energy center for many years. This energy center is linked with a few emotions we’re all too familiar with – worry, anxiety, fear, and excitement. When you are in a negative space (which can affect us in receiving negative energy), place your two hands over your solar plexus to protect yourself. This is something I teach to many of my clients and they’ve found instant relief.
It’s never about you, it’s always about them
What I’ve come to learn is that people who initiate negativity are simply expressing a reflection of their inner state of being. You just happen to be the person in front of that expression. We must not take it personal because it’s not personal. See the problem is that our egos love conflict, problems etc. I often see that those who are unhappy, frustrated and bored in their lives have a tendency to want to take others down with them (this of course can be subconscious sometimes).
What’s the lesson for you in this situation?
There’s always a lesson! Remember that no situation can ever be lost, if we can take away from it some lessons that can help us grow and learn and become a better person. Irrespective of how negative a situation may be, there is always a hidden gift in the form of a lesson. Find the lesson. Use your journal to help you discover it, if needs be! I carry a journal with me everywhere and use it to vent in when I need to.
Chose to eliminate negative people from your life
We all know how much of an energy drain negative people can be in our lives. When people are deeply negative and unhappy they’ll want to also bring you down with them (they may not mean to of course, again it can be subconsciously). As Kathy Sierra said, “Be around the change you want to see in the world.” Cut negative people from your life by avoiding dealings with them as much as possible. It’s your choice to commit to being surrounded by people who have the qualities you respect; peaceful, positive, caring, optimistic, supportive, loving and encouraging people.
Grab your journal and dump what’s going on in your head onto paper. Dump all the anger, frustration, disappointment and negativity on to paper. Write until your hand nearly falls off (ha ha I’ve done this often) and you’ve nothing left to say! Write freely with absolutely no editing, this is for your eyes only! Then close your eyes as your tear that page from your journal into pieces – visualise that all the negative energy is now inside the paper. Throw the paper in the rubbish bin or even more powerful burn it. Let it all go!
Two powerful questions to ask yourself
So when you’re in this heated moment, ask yourself these two questions:
- “If I don’t respond and give in, what’s the worst thing that happen? “
- “If I do respond (because remember that’s what they want), what is the worst thing that can happen? “
When we can ask ourselves these two questions it often adds perspective to the current situation and you’ll realise that actually nothing good may come out of reacting. You only end up disturbing your own inner space and its a waste of your energy.
Can your practice forgiveness?
Ask yourself; “What is it about the person/situation that I can seek to understand and forgive?” I always like to think of what the Dali Lama would do here, he would without a doubt practice forgiveness! Also a course in miracles saids that forgiveness is the key to happiness.
How do you deal with difficult people? Share with me below in the comments. I’d love to know what’s worked well for you in the past.
All my love,
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