“You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away.”
― C Joybell C
As I write this, I’m feeling a little sorry for myself. I’m struck down with a kidney infection which had me in hospital over the weekend for a night! Very uncomfortable and very painful, I really wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.
As you probably know by now I’m a little bit of a health + wellness freak (that’s a bit of an understatement), which means I’ll do everything in my power to stay off antibiotics wherever I can. When I think about it, it’s actually been a few years since I’ve had to take any pharmaceutical at all!
I can’t say I got away with it this time though. I’m now on antibiotics for the next couple of days! No fault but my own!
I had the signs of an infection last Monday but the health + wellness freak that I am, I was very persistent on not taking any antibiotics! So I spent a few days last week battling my infection with lots of natural remedies and believing that I could conquer this sans antibiotics.
“I was hoping that it was something temporary, that perhaps with time it would heal and go away, but I was very wrong.”
Friday morning I was awoken at 12:50am, with the worst pain I have ever experienced, the pain moved from my tummy and then moved to my left side wrapping all around my lower back. I put it down to some badly trapped gas (which I haven’t experienced in years) and symptoms from my liver + gastrointestinal tract cleanse I was currently on. I drank some warm water which seemed to help and I fell back to sleep.
Yet again Saturday morning at exactly 12:50am, guess what, I was again awoken! The same very uncomfortable and dull pain! Again I was up for about 2 hours drinking hot water + trying to ease myself! My poor fiancée; he was my life saver and seriously did everything he could to make me comfortable! Then 6am arrived and I was again awoken, this time the pain had just multiplied by TEN. I went to get out of bed and stand up and I couldn’t, I then started vomiting. I consider myself to be someone with a high pain threshold, but this was something so unexpected and excruciating, that the pain just got the better of me. I knew something wasn’t right and I wasn’t risking anything so off to casualty we went!
After numerous blood tests, a urine test and an ultra sound later, I was diagnosed with a severe kidney infection! I spent that whole day and night in casualty and was pumped with antibiotics via a drip! Not pleasant and not how I planned to have my Saturday!
KIDNEY INFECTION HEALING
Saturday morning while I was packing a bag for the hospital I piled in a few books, one of which was “You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L.Hay”. This is one of my go to healing books. If you don’t have this book, get it! Seriously it’s incredible. A book you will utterly cherish forever. At the back of this book she gives a list of health problems, probable causes and then a new thought pattern such as an affirmation. While I had many hours just lying there on that hospital bed, I decided to look bladder and kidney problems up. I don’t believe we just get sick for no reason; I am a strong believer with there being emotions behind every single sickness!
For bladder problems (this is how my infection started), I found in the book the probable cause to be Anxiety. Holding on to old ideas. Fear of letting go. Being “pissed off”.
Affirmation for this probable cause:
“I comfortably and easily release the old and welcome the new in my life. I am safe”
Could I relate to the above? Too right I could, I’m doing a lot of internal work at the moment + have been for a long time but more recently I seem to be getting to the roots of a lot of my problems. I’m working with various healers, what I’ve learned is that for way too long, I have been holding on to too many old ideas and I’ve been suppressing too much old.
I’ve changed so much last year and am feeling even more change on the horizon in 2013 as I try to find + connect with the truest essence of myself.There is HUGE fear that comes with change, change of losing family, friends + loved ones around me, fear of failure and a fear that the people around me might criticize of me aiming for what I want, of me succeeding or failing. With all that’s been uprooted and uplifted I’ve been feeling so much anger coming to the surface – which feels like black rocks boiling inside of me. Where is this coming from, I don’t know. I’ll let you know when I find out! There will be a post to come on that!
For kidney problems (this is what I was diagnosed with); I found in the book the probable cause to be Criticism, disappointment, failure. Shame. Reacting like a little kid.
Affirmation for this probable cause:
“Divine right action is always taking place in my life. Only good comes from each experience. It is safe to grow up.”
Could I relate to the above? Hell Yes, a BIG fat Yes! There’s been a lot of self-criticism, worries of failure around certain things and yes Shame too. I had an aha moment with one of my healers last week on shame which makes this even more interesting.
I’ve been thinking about my last week and dramatic weekend and rather than see this as a dark moment in my life, I will see it as a moment where I was indeed taught a very valuable lesson. I had infection symptoms for too long, and I didn’t do enough to take care of them (well I tried to naturally but it wasn’t working). I let them intensify and my illness grew until my body retaliated. I was wrong to wait it out, hoping it would just go away. What I have learned is that I will never ignore my body again.
One thing that this experience has given me is an even stronger feeling of gratitude to be here on this Earth and healthy at this present moment.
This experience has taught me to appreciate my health even more, and to take care of my body. It’s crazy how one moment you can be seemingly fine, and then at the drop of a hat it can be taken away from you and you’re in a state of peril and complete vulnerability. We must never take our bodies for granted or think that there will be no consequence to our actions if we do not take care of ourselves. I most certainly never wish to suffer like that again and I will do everything in my control to continue leading a healthy life whilst listening to my body that bit more.
I believe sometimes we truly have to suffer, to get the message through to us. I will use this experience to better myself as a person, and to improve my future life.
Love, Light and Lots of Happiness,
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