Divorce can be the catalyst for an extraordinary life!
The pain, the devastation, the despair, the darkness, the loss and utter grief that can occur through divorce and separation can be transformed into a profoundly awakening experience.
It’s a wake-up call!
It’s an opportunity to free ourselves and reclaim the lost parts of ourselves in the other.
It can be the ultimate spiritual growth tool!
“When all your desires are distilled; You will cast just two votes: To love more, And be happy.” — Rumi
My own divorce has had such an important role in my personal growth and that I am very grateful for because I needed to fail to be able to learn all that I can get to do right in the future.
It has made me the woman I am today.
Leaving the relationship was not easy for me. I felt like I was breaking my commitment and the sacred vows we swore – I am a very loyal person so this was one of the hardest parts of my divorce. It was clear things were not working and it needs one person to be courageous and brave and that person needed to be me.
Before diving deep into the lessons I have taken from my divorce, I think it’s only fair to give a little background on what happened.
I found an incredible man (well we found each other through a mutual friend) who loved me deeply and who I loved deeply too. We were very young when we met (20). We had a lot of fun together, we traveled the world but over time something was missing. We began to grow further and further apart, rather than together.
I wanted to share four lessons that my divorce has taught me:
1. Surround yourself with the right people
Divorce puts you in complete and utter survival mode. Your root/base chakra is uprooted (the chakra of instincts, survival, stability – home, money, job, food). It’s so important during this time to let yourself receive from others. I had to pull back quite a bit during this time in terms of giving (especially in my work). I chose to only surround myself with positive, supportive friends because anything else during this time was taxing for my energy.
2. Support will show up in magical ways
When I let go fully into the space of the unknown magic happened. Support came to me in many forms. I also had some incredible new friendships come into my life during this time and they are some of the richest friendships I have today.
3. Being alone is actually ok
I spent a lot of time alone during this time. It wasn’t good or it wasn’t bad. It just was, what was required. I learned that everything has a season and for that period it was ok to be alone.
4. My energy attracts my tribe
When I was feeling sad, upset and broken that’s exactly what I attracted. As I began to heal and sit with all the feelings, letting the grief move through my body and as I became more confident and I loved myself I was surrounded by more loving and supportive people. This is the law of attraction at work!
I am incredibly grateful for all the support I had during this time from my beautiful teachers, therapist, healers, family, and friends. I am not sure where I would have been without this amazing support.
Am I telling you that you need to get divorced today? Absolutely not.
I am just deeply grateful for everything that my divorce has taught me. It has cracked my heart wide open to a place it has not been before. I feel I have more confidence in who I am today as a woman from this experience and I feel more open as a woman.
I believe that failures in a relationship like divorce are here to teach us. This is how we grow and evolve as human beings.
Everything you need to learn exists in that experience if you allow it to.
Last year we created the Divorce Series as part of our Energy For Life Podcast Show and I wanted to share this with you today (in case you are in the midst of this transition right now in your life):
1. THE DIVORCE SERIES, PART 1 (EFL #55)
In Part one I asked you an important question in terms of where you are right now in your relationship journey. Maybe you are separated/divorced a long time but you still feel quite emotional and triggered by your ex-partner or maybe you have had a realisation for some time that your current relationship/marriage no longer serves you and you are petrified at what to do next or maybe you’re just wanting to understand more about this topic to support a friend/family member/loved one in your life.
2. THE DIVORCE SERIES, PART 2 (EFL #56)
In part two of this series, I dive a little bit deeper and I talk about the range of feelings and emotions you will go through as you navigate this journey and what will be required of you.
3. THE DIVORCE SERIES, PART 3 (EFL #58)
In part three today I am answering a brilliant question I received from one of our community members. I know that many of you will be able to relate to this one today and I know it will support many of you as well.
The question was:
I realised I’ve numbed myself to emotions and I’m very blocked. Where do I start?
Everything I share, I always share from a space of my own personal integrated experience and like everything in life I encourage you to take what resonates from this series and leave the rest.
Please pass on to someone you know may benefit from this series today.
All my love,